Be Careful What You Wish For

Broken Joe
Feb 26, 2021
7 min read

Every winter, after a couple of months of not playing golf, Chris and I have the same conversation: Lessons, or New Clubs. In fact, one of Chris’s favorite sayings during these talks is “What I want are new clubs, what I need is a new swing”.

This year, I decided Chris was right, it was finally time for me to get lessons.

It all started with Jon and I talking about getting some time at Derrico’s golf simulator. Jon wanted to hit the ball straight and more consistently and I needed to find some clubhead speed and distance.

The idea was for us to get some swing practice in and then try to schedule some lessons at Derricos. After all, we had about 90 days to improve our game.

Listen, I am no golf instructor, my initial goal with Jon was for him just to make solid contact and not to spray the ball all over the course. No matter how Jon set up, he always hit the ball off the toe of the club. I knew we were going to need more help.

When I asked about lessons at Derricos, the only option was early Saturday mornings and that wasn’t going to work for us so I looked around for some other options.

I really wanted to call Cody and ask about his golf instructor, but I think my dream was to surprise Broken Joe Golf with my new swing and my scores in the low 80s. I was not ready to talk about my seeking professional help.

As I searched for a Golf Professional, I stumble across one in Springfield, one that I had not heard of before and he was pretty close to my house. Win-Win. Jon and I each scheduled a 30-minute lesson. The place was small but big enough for the trackman, video equipment, simulator, and the 3 of us.

Jon was first and the Instructor explained to Jon about how the swing worked and helped Jon understand how the hands worked. For me, this all made some sense because I had read about some of this stuff hundreds of times but now it had some context. It was a little funny because when Jon was practicing his hand movement without a club, he reminded me of a terrible hula dancer.

I was up next. I let the Instructor know that we had a group of golfers who played every other week, that I have won my fair share of trophies and was usually in the final four, I just needed to increase my clubhead speed and gain more distance.

The Instructor had me hit a few balls and then talked to me like I actually knew something about hitting a golf ball. Once he figured out I didn’t, he changed my grip, put the ball back in my stance, and had me hit outside/in. I was not happy with the outside/in concept because I had just gotten rid of my slice and I did not want to bring that back.

To my surprise, I was now drawing the ball. I was not only drawing the ball but I was hitting the ball first and then the ground. In just 20 minutes, I was hitting my 7 iron 30 yards farther. I went from 135 yards to 165 yards with a nice baby draw. I was in heaven and I could see the crowd chanting my name as I made it to the 70s club alongside Cody. I could not wait for my next lesson. Meanwhile, poor Jon only had a lot of hula practice in his foreseeable future.

The following week Jon and I go back. This time we book 2 hours of virtual golf. My thought was that we could practice the stuff we learned from last week plus have a little bit of fun swinging the club.

The Instructor is very impressive because, for the first hour, he gave us more help and tips. For the last hour Jon and I played some golf games. The first one was chipping for score. The second golf game was like “Conquer the Flag” but to win the flag you had to be closer to the flag on the green than your opponent. Last but least, we pulled out the big stick and played the “Longest Drive Competition.” Impressive enough, I had drives of 220 and I think Jon was around 215. All in all, we had a good time.

A couple of days later, Chris called me and wanted to go to Derricos to look at some clubs and hit some balls. He scheduled two hours on the simulator. For whatever reason, I was awful and Chris was ok but Chris paid for the round as part of my birthday present. Who was I to complain, I was still hitting golfs balls in the winter.

The next week, it was time for me and Jon to head back for more lessons but Chris called me to say that he had reserved a simulator for us and that he was ready to buy some new clubs.

That meant that Jon and I would have to have our golf lessons in the afternoon. Fortunately, Jon was good with that.

Chris and I get to Derricos and Chris is hitting golf balls with some new clubs. I could see the smile on his face as he was swinging away. Well, not an actual smile but I could sense he was happy. There is something special about having new clubs in your hands. Usually, that feeling fades after hitting the first ball on an actual course but for the moment, Chris was happy and that’s all anyone can ask for.

After what felt like a couple of weeks for me, you know, the guy not buying new clubs, Chris final makes his decision, and I need to get to my golf lesson.

As I am driving to meet Jon for our golf lessons, Chris calls me. I think that he wants to talk to me about his new clubs but he asked me if I paid for the simulator. Huh, no… I didn’t even think about it. Hell, for what he paid for new clubs the simulator should have been free. (Yes, I did go back about a week later and pay for the simulator).

At the golf instruction, Jon continues to learn the nuances of the hands and the body movement. When it's my turn, I am thinking that I just need to work on my new “draw” swing.

Nope, that is not the way this works. My instructor explained to me that what he showed me last time was just a “quick fix”. I guess the instructor never thought we would continue to take lessons. This time my lessons are more serious, and I have to work much hard with little results. This time it is about working to having a new and better swing.

I am a little disappointed but if I want to be better, I must persevere. Jon is busy for the next couple of weeks but I make another appointment for my next lesson.

For six days I think about all of the things that went wrong at my last lesson and I decided to let my instructor know what I want and how I need him to help me get there, you know, the easy way.

When I get to my lesson, I tell my instructor that I like my old swing and my short game is very good. I know what the yardage is with my current swing and I can’t afford another losing season like I had in 2019 after I bought a new driver, that is the one thing that I didn’t need. I tell him that I just need to hit my 5 iron longer, that’s all.

My instructor looks at me a little confused and then starts measuring my body, my height, my arms, my wingspan, my rotation, and how far back my arms will go. I have to tell you, with my bad shoulder, there was very little movement. After he was finished he said to me, “we need a new plan”.

“Your old, fat and you have no flexibility. The distance from your shoulder to your elbow is too short and the distance from your elbow to your wrist is too long. As you start the backswing you move your whole body backward along with the club. As you come forward with the club, you are “casting” (think fishing) the clubhead which is where you are losing 90% of your clubhead speed. It’s by some miracle that you somehow make contact with the golf ball, you have no follow-through and you are way off balance at the end of the swing.

I looked him in the eye and said, "you know you are going to need to give me a compliment soon or I am going to lose all of my confidence". He said, “you dress nice and you're always on time”.

Ok, that may not be exactly what he said but that is what I heard. The new plan was that I would have no backswing, just raise the club straight up over my right shoulder, and with the speed and power of Thor, the God of Thunder. I would smash down on the golf ball. At the same time that I start the downswing, I would shift my body forward while my left foot is standing on and, trying to crush, a foam breast falsie.

Look, I like my instructor. He is knowledgeable, patient, and loves to give back to the game of golf ,but I just could not do that many things at one time. At least not on this day. He just kept saying “faster, faster, faster” but, I could not go any “faster”.